This month’s Play Note focuses on a crucial question for adolescents: Do they know what their play is? Before diving into that, let’s clarify what we mean by “play for you” or “your play.”
Understanding Play for You
At the National Institute for Play (NIFPlay), we talk about one’s play as the activities that:
- Bring you deep satisfaction and sometimes joy
- Fully engage your attention, immersing you in the moment.
- Are intrinsically motivated—you do them because you want to, not for external rewards.
Dr. Stuart Brown, in his book Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, describes play as essential to human thriving. It is not a luxury or a childhood pastime—it is a fundamental state of being that fuels creativity, resilience, and overall wellness. Play induces an altered state that fosters optimism, counteracts stress, and enhances cognitive flexibility.
Our natural inclination for play leads us toward activities that feel deeply rewarding and authentic. Dr. Brown outlines how play helps us discover our unique strengths, develop our problem-solving skills, and experience our intrinsic motivation—an essential driver of long-term success and well-being.
Adolescents’ Play—A Pathway to Fulfillment
Now, let’s turn our attention to teenagers. At the NIFPlay we have found that an adolescent’s awareness of their play can set them on a path to lifelong satisfaction in several ways:
- Play reveals natural strengths. The activities that truly engage an adolescent are indicators of what they are inclined to master. The things they return to again and again without external pressure may reflect innate talents and interests.
- Play fosters an easier and more fulfilling educational path. If a teen understands what they naturally enjoy, what is play for them, they can have a clearer sense of what to pursue in school and beyond. Instead of choosing classes and careers based on extrinsic factors, they can align their studies with what excites them intrinsically, which will make learning a more satisfying, self-directed experience.
- Play cultivates emotional resilience and mental well-being. As Peter Gray highlights in The Decline of Play and the Rise of Psychopathology in Children and Adolescents, play helps young people develop emotional regulation, social adaptability, and problem-solving skills. When play is absent, young people are more susceptible to anxiety, depression, and feelings of helplessness.
Yet, here’s the problem: Many teenagers are disconnected from their play, they are not in touch with their intrinsic motivations.
At NIFPlay, our sense was that teens / adolescents are not much in touch with the activities that put them into a play state. We conducted a very informal investigation to learn a bit more empirically about this. We interviewed fifteen high school juniors and seniors. We asked them a set of questions in order to surface what their play is.
Of fifteen teens interviewed only one was clearly in touch with their play, the activities that they are intrinsically motivated to pursue, activities that give them a sense of deep satisfaction. The majority conveyed in various ways that it hadn’t occurred to them to think about what they felt naturally attracted to and feels very satisfying. They are most occupied with extrinsic goals and priorities.
That informal investigation validated our concern that many adolescents, caught up in adult directed activities, academic pressures, and digital socializing, have lost touch with their intrinsic sources of deep satisfaction. We believe the informal investigation provided a relatively accurate indication of adolescents’ lack of connection with their intrinsic natures and a likely contributor to the extraordinary increases in youth mental health issues for many years
Tuning into Play—A Call to Parents, Educators, Mentors
To those who guide teenagers—parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors—this is a wake-up call.
We must actively help adolescents (and children, but that’s for another Play Note) recognize and reclaim their play. If they don’t know what engages and excites them, they risk being swept onto paths influenced more by external pressures than internal fulfillment. This lack of self-awareness is undoubtedly contributing to the extraordinary levels of anxiety, depression and suicide in today’s youth. Youth mental health issues are so extreme that the major youth health organizations (American Academy of Pediatrics, Children’s Hospital Association and American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) are calling it a national emergency ( AAP-CHA-AACAP 2021).
What can you do?
- Encourage open-ended exploration. Give teens space to try activities without the pressure of performance or achievement.
- Ask questions that spark reflection. Instead of only asking about grades and responsibilities, ask: “What activity makes you lose track of time?” or “When do you feel most alive?”
- Model and value play yourself. Show them that play isn’t just for children. Whether it’s music, hiking, painting, or tinkering, modeling with your own play signals that joy and engagement matter at all stages of life.
- Resist over-structuring their time. Free play—not scheduled activities or achievement-driven hobbies—develops autonomy and emotional resilience.
If we truly care about adolescents’ well-being, we need to foster a culture that prioritizes play.
Conclusion: Play as a Lifelong Compass
Understanding and engaging in play is not just about leisure—it’s about self-knowledge and well-being. The more teenagers tune into what innately satisfies them, the more they can navigate their futures with confidence, resilience, and joy.
In a world where young people face increasing mental health challenges, reconnecting them with their play is not optional—it is essential. We hope your teenagers know what their play is. If they don’t, let’s help them find it.
References
- AAP-CHA-AACAP (2021) declaration of a national emergency in child and adolescent mental health, a joint statement by the American Academy of Pediatrics; Children’s Hospital Association; and American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.
- Brown, Stuart; Vaughn, Chris. (2009) Play–How it shapes the brain, opens the imagination and invigorates the soul;
- Gray, Peter. (2011) The Decline of Play and the Rise of Psychopathology in Children and Adolescents, American Journal of Play,
